I Never Want to Leave India

I don’t want to leave. This morning I was skyping with my parents and at the end they said something to the effect of, “You’re over halfway done! It’s almost time for you to come home!” At which I instantly teared up, quickly hung up, and had to take about 5 minutes to compose myself. This has been happening often, there are many moments that I don’t want to end, and I feel as if I am seeing some things that are happening in hindsight as they are happening in real time, if that makes sense – like I am watching them with a twinge of sadness knowing that 3 months from now I will miss them.

Juxtapose this with the fun night I had with Rachel Patil, a friend from EPHS and Bethel that I ran into on the street on Saturday. We met up tonight and I brought her downtown, showing her the Bangalore I knew. What a blessing to be with someone who knows the world that I come from! Crazy, though, too, because we are at two very different places when it comes to our relationship with India. I smile when she talks, because I myself was once where she was – in the “I appreciate India” stage. What brought me to the “I never want to leave India” stage? I don’t know that I can pinpoint it…but I am thankful that I arrived J

Ew.

well, it was bound to happen sometime. Yesterday, my head started itching. Tonight, I went over to ask the girls to check my head, and I have lice. It is very bad. Lots of bugs, and lots of eggs. I am kind of freaking out right now. Ew.

Time Warp

So yesterday was my sister’s birthday (Happy Birthday K!). All day long I looked forward to calling her via Skype at 12:30pm, because that would be midnight her time. I called and sang to her and we chatted awhile, in slight awe that it was crazy that I was on the other side of the world but could still call her on her birthday. The weirdest thing, though, is that today all morning long I have been thinking about the fact that right NOW is the time that she is celebrating. When I was having breakfast at 8am, she was out for her birthday dinner. When I was having lunch, she was going to sleep. I am so used to this time difference thing that I don’t think about it very often, but today it was just boggling my mind.

Wedding Take 2.....Almost.

Today was day 2 of the wedding festivities. We were excited to go eat more biryani, but more than that we really just wanted to see Aysha happy…for our ease of mind as much as for the success of her marriage.

We were supposed to leave at 8, but it started to monsoon. So we ended up hanging out in the dining center with Biju and his daughter Irene for an hour and a half when it almost stopped raining and we decided to go for it. However, on the way there the monsoon picked up again and we had to pull of the road and seek shelter under an awning in a sketchy part of town so we wouldn’t get soaked to the bone (we were on Sid’s bike). But after a short while Sid got scared so we left (luckily the rain settled down a bit too) and continued our rainy journey. I remember as a kid loving driving in the rain because we would go through puddles and huge rooster tails would shoot up as if we were waterskiing….yeah, that’s not quite as fun on a motorbike J so basically we laughed the whole way there as we maneuvered through puddle and realized that we needed to embrace the wetness rather than fight it – we may as well have gone off-roading. Which I actually did because at one point the water became so deep that I had to get off of the bike and walk on the sidewalk…only to almost get run over by a motorbike that had decided to drive on the walking path (Sid claims that watching that happen was his favorite part of the night). We were in a race against time, because the wedding would probably finish around 11…but if we weren’t going to get there by 10:30, we needed to forget the wedding and find someplace we could have dinner before all establishments closed at 11. We got so close – half a block away from the palace grounds and it was 10:31 – when an old man started waving his arms at us from the sidewalk. I first wondered if Sid knew him, which he didn’t, and instead Sid took it as some kind of warning, a “Don’t keep driving!” We turned the corner and quickly found out why: the road was a lake, and there were so many cars clogging the road an ambulance couldn’t even get through.

We made the unanimous decision to abort the wedding plan (we were so close, but so far away) and made it our mission to find a restaurant. And then we realized that neither of us had our wallets. Lucky for us, Sid randomly had 210 rupees. Generally you could find something to eat for that much, but at 10:35 pm there are slim pickings. I suggested that we wash dishes, but Sid didn’t think that sounded as fun as I did. We passed some shady joints, and then luckily stumbled upon Sid’s favorite restaurant of all time. We stumbled in, wet and with helmet hair, and Sid started coughing. Sid has asthma…but of course, his inhaler was in his backpack with his wallet. We were quite the pair. We scoured the menu for a meal we could get for 210 rupees, including tax and tip, and tried hard not to laugh because that would only make him cough. I was crying from laughing/trying not to, he was coughing from laughing/trying not to, and we both looked a mess. We got a pretty good meal, though, naan and ghee rice with butter chicken masala…they even gave us a plate of cucumbers for free. But when we got the bill Sid opened it and gasped. “What? Is it too much?” “210 exactly!” he replied, “It’s perfect! We’re perfect!” to which I sang, “So we’re perfect together!” and then we both laughed thinking about retelling this story and ending with, “and then Jen and Sid burst into song when they received the bill and had enough money to pay.” Which means I ended up crying, and he ended up coughing. Oh man. We got back to Visthar at midnight, but honestly neither of us wanted this night to end. “what did you do last night?” “Oh, you know…rode around on a motorbike in the rain trying to get to a wedding that we never actually got to.” Yup, we both decided we’d do it again. Even if we do get pneumonia.

I Hope You're Happy

Tonight I was Sid’s date to a wedding. The only other student from Bangalore at Boston University had returned to India from school in May, entered into plans for an arranged marriage, and was now getting married today. It was a Muslim wedding and was going to be a grand, 2-day event. One of my colleagues is Muslim so she lent me some beautiful clothes to wear, and away we rode to a 5-star palace hotel.

We didn’t really know where we were going, and we rode by what looked like a gated park that was aglow with Christmas lights. Whoa, look at that wedding! We exclaimed. Oh wait a minute, we said as we saw the huge sign that read Aysha weds Vikhar, that’s our wedding! We drove in, speechless, and feeling like we really didn’t belong. It was a 5-star palace hotel, and there were 3,000 people invited (after this experience, we realized how easy it would be to crash a wedding like this and that we are going to do it every weekend), and as we were confronted with the division of the bride and groom and stood for about an hour trying to figure out what to do. Could Sid, as a guy, go greet the bride? What was the protocol? Definitely not a hug…do we talk? As we stood there watching and laughing at the awkwardness of the situation, a girl walked up and asked, “Hi, are you Siddarth? My sister said you were coming and you were looking pretty awkward, so I figured that it must be you.” Gee, thanks. Not “You’re incredibly good looking” or even “You have the white girl with you” (I was the only one there) but “You’re looking pretty awkward.” Which was true. So we chatted for a bit, she told us where the food was, and then she left before we realized we hadn’t even asked what we were supposed to do. So we explored for a bit more and then bit the bullet and walked up to greet Aysha. We climbed onto the stage where she sat and awkwardly stood above her, saying hi how are you you look beautiful congratulations! And she replied through a forced smile, without moving her lips, “Thank you for coming. You look lovely. Have you eaten?” then we sat down so the photographer could snap a photo, we got up and wished her well again and, with downcast eyes she replied, “Have a wonderful evening.”

Up until this time, we had noted that she looked miserable but tried to think the best of it – you or I would be miserable if we had to greet a thousand guests, if we were weighted down by pounds of heavily beaded material, and if you were going into an arranged marriage. We decided that our belief of being miserable as it relates to arranged marriage was a socialized, Western viewpoint on our behalf and we tried really really hard not to assume that she was unhappy…but our encounter with her made it very difficult, especially when Sid said that otherwise she was a spunky, spirited, really fun and outgoing person and that seeing her like this made her look quite oppressed…especially when the groom was standing over in his tent laughing and joking and hugging and chatting with his guests. But we decided not to pass judgment and to come back the next day in hopes that she seemed happier.

I will tell you one thing, though – these Muslims know how to throw a party. And how to make good food. It was all you can eat biryani, dry chicken, curry chicken, ice cream, and even goodie bags with nuts and candy. Thank you, and we will definitely be back tomorrow!

Best. Steak. Ever.

Is it ironic that I just ate the best steak of my life in a country where cows are considered holy?

But seriously. It was so good that I cried. And when the waiter tried to remove my plate before I was finished, I think I scared him away. Not to mention my heart rate increased noticeably as I thought I may have to fight for my meal.

I rarely order steak, but (a) most of the non-indian dishes were pasta, which I can’t eat, and (b) the steak dinner included cheesy mashed potatoes, which sounded delicious. I even made that disclaimer before I started to eat – “I got this meal for the cheesy mashed” - because I honestly wasn’t anticipating that the steak would be any good. I took a bite of the steak first in order to save the taste of the potatoes til the end…but with one bite of steak I was gone. In heaven. So then I took a nibble of the potatoes…to see if they were really good enough to save til the end…and I was sorely disappointed. So I tenderly pushed my steak aside and ate my veggies…and then slowly and savoringly enjoyed my meat. The best meal that I have ever had was on the Eiffel tower, but this was definitely the best steak. I have never experienced anything like it before, and I don’t remember the last time I was so in love with what I was eating. I even shared a bite with everyone I was sitting with – and that’s was about 11 people. They, too, were in awe of how delicious it was. And I wasn’t kidding when I said that I cried. There were definitely tears.

It's a Small World, After All

So this morning I was walking down Main Hennur Road in Kothanur (the small suburb of Bangalore that is closest to where I live) and I heard somebody yell my name. I was with two students, and none of the others were supposed to be in town, so I was rather confused. I looked around and didn’t see anyone I knew, said to the students, “I think I just heard my name.” They did too, and we all stood around in confusion. I started to walk, but heard my name again and turned around to see an auto-rickshaw coming towards me with a girl flailing out the side yelling my name. she appeared slightly Indian, and I was like, “Who the heck is this? I have met SOME people around my age, but none that I know so well that they would turn an auto around and chase me down on the street.” She came closer, and it was none other than Rachel Patil, who I went to college with. We had chatted at a wedding this summer that she was going to be going to India too, but her plans had been to be in the north. Well, they changed, and here she is in Bangalore. She asked me where I’m staying, and I told her saying, “I’m at Visthar, it’s an NGO in that direction.” The said, “Oh yeah, I know Visthar. I just started volunteering at Accept.” Accept is the HIV/AIDS hospital that is right next door to Visthar. Yeah. Crazy. Awesome.

There's a Mouse in my House

I didn’t sleep very much last night. About 15 minutes after I laid down, I started to hear what sounded like an animal chewing outside my window. I smiled, thinking “ah, the cow got loose” (and yes, that is a normal occurrence here). However, pretty soon I started hearing rubbing and scratching against my front door. And then a scurrying and a gnawing. I sat up, scared out of my mind. There is often a rat that scurries and squeaks on my roof – this I am used to. No problem. But scurrying and gnawing? No thank you. So after a while of sitting in my bed clutching my flashlight, I convinced myself to jump out of bed and run to the door. I heard something run away, and the rustling that I had heard stopped. Until I kicked the trash can; then it began again. Ew. I ran back into bed and grabbed my phone. Who was I going to call? No clue. But it made me feel safer J I laid back down and tried to sleep, but the noises all started again. I sat up and peeked towards the door. I could see something out there…and then I saw something small and round scurry across the crack under my door. Eeeew heebie jeebies. And then something went “phwft” on the floor on the left side of my room, and I shrieked. And Debbie woke up to Jen sitting cross-legged as small as she could become, sleep mask pushed up on her head and flashlight in hand. “I think there’s an animal in our roooom” I whimpered, laughing and crying at the same time. So we both got out of bed, turned on the light, and got up the guts to open the door. A cat scurried away, and our screen was still intact, so at least we knew the culprit to that noise. We took some boxes out of the garbage, looked under the beds, shone our flashlights everywhere, but saw nothing. We got back into bed, laughing but still paranoid, and had the most difficult time falling asleep because at every noise we would ask, “is that inside?”

The next morning, I was in the library waiting for a skype call when Debbie came in and said, “Jeeen. There is a mouse in my suitcase.” Ewwwww. So I ran back up to our room, and helped her pull her suitcase outside (trying to keep my body as far from the bag as possible). We unzipped it and saw something crawling through the sleeve of her fleece. Ewwww I have the heebie jeebies just thinking about it. We started taking things out of the suitcase, but then the mouse moved out of the fleece and we saw it in all its brown ugliness. Screamed, ran, and then came back and dragged the bag further from our room. We stood looking at it, and finally a security guard came and was nice enough to start taking things out of the bag for us. When almost everything was out, he found the mouse in the corner. Discovered, it jumped out of the bag and ran away.

Ewwwww.

And then we went back and cleaned our room like crazy.

But Debbie will never forget waking up to me sitting scared in the middle of my bed, and I will never forget the look on her face when she told me there was a mouse in her bag. And we had a great story to tell Roshen at breakfast, too J

Living Under Prohibition

So I got back from commercial street last night with an email from Sid that contained a link to a news article and the question “I think we might have to rethink our weekend plans…what do you think?” Long story short, there’s an ancient Muslim-Hindu debate that is very similar to that of the Dome of the Rock situation in Israel.

As a precautionary measure, the government of Karnataka took drastic measures and placed a ban and prohibition upon the city of Bangalore from 6am Friday through 6pm Sunday. What does this ban entail? No gatherings larger than 5 people. No processions. No singing songs in public. There is a prohibition on the serving of alcohol. Therefore, our weekend plans needed to change: When we go out, we are at least 18 – an obvious procession. We love to sing (especially Celine Dion). And the weekend plans included the consumption of alcohol. And even though we were pretty sure that some restaurants would still be serving booze, as an international education professional I really couldn’t justify giving the students the opportunity to engage in illegal activity – what if the police raided the restaurant? Bad news bears. So we were uber flexible and made a bunch of changes, and the poor kids sat through more meetings and signed up for more events. Finally, we decided to have a house party at Sid’s house and the next night to go to a fancy restaurant…and then Sid and I made a “liquor run” during which we bought more alcohol than either of us will probably consume in our life (which isn’t that much) before the prohibition went into effect the next morning. Add that to my resume J

So after an afternoon full of all that shifting and replanning and flexibility, I got a call from Sid as I was heading to English class that evening. “You’re never going to believe this” he said. What’s the big news? The court decision had been delayed until next Wednesday, therefore the ban was lifted. Alcohol is being served, you can go out in groups larger than five, and if you sing a song in public you won’t be arrested. Awesome. It's very interesting what rights the government has here...and what rights it can restrict in just a moment's notice

Sprung!

Tonight Debbie and I both woke up and we were sick of our clothes. It’s rough living out of a suitcase. So we decided to go shopping. Now, I never ever leave Visthar on weeknights. In fact, the only time that I have done so is to go to dinner at my colleague’s house. All afternoon I started to feel guilty, like I was missing something that I was supposed to be doing that night or even like I was doing something wrong by leaving. But once I got over that fear, we had a lot of fun…and went pretty crazy i.e. Debbie got a coke and we bought fresh grilled corn. Go big or go home, I always say J But it was so refreshing and rejuvenating to get out for a little bit…we didn't even get home until 10pm, which is way past both of our bedtimes :)

Productivity Lost

Ok. First of all, who allowed it to be the 21^st of September already?!? I cannot even believe it – where in the world does time ever go? And secondly, how is anybody ever productive in their job here? Growing up I remember my mom always saying that it was easier to work from home because at work she never got anything done…and I totally and completely understand that now. Every day I start out with good intentions and by 5:00 I wonder where the day has gone. Sid and I call it the Visthar Vortex. I think a part of it too stems from the Indian work culture, which is so focused on relationships and community – which is great, but doesn’t really lend to productivity. We have teatime in the morning, which sucks 45 minutes to an hour, and then teatime in the afternoon for about half an hour…but by the time teatime is over, it is 4:15 or 4:30 and what can really get done between then and the end of the day? Not a whole lot. Today, I was called into the office for a meeting…which was really a surprise birthday party for a colleague. Which was awesome, and I love the community that it builds, but it really puts a damper on efficiency.

Then again, never again will I have a job where I can walk around barefoot all day long, so I guess at the end of the day it’s all ok J

Anger. Anger. Anger.

Ohhhhh I am so mad.

So mad.

Last Friday, all of 10^th standard failed their English class. Not just our girls, but the entire class at school. What was their punishment? To stand on one leg with their hands above their heads for an hour and a half in the sun without food or drink.

In my country, this would be asking for a lawsuit.

Not here – “This is India” is the reply that I got when I told people.

So now, of course, it is midterm exam time and after last week’s performance, all of the tutors are begging for English help for the girls. I have been dying to have class with 10^th but have been told that they didn’t have time, so when they asked me to help I was overjoyed.

That is, I was overjoyed until we sat for the first session and I was told, “Jen, don’t worry about reading the story or that they understand. Just make sure that they can recite back to you the correct answers and we will talk about the meaning later.”

Oooooooooooooh I almost cried. I felt like I was betraying everything that is true and right in the world of education…

I did it, though, because at this point (a) it was 9pm, (b) if they don’t have the correct answer they will be hit and (c) I tried to instill some understanding of the meaning as we went along. But I am just hopping mad.

Conflicting Emotions

This blog was originally going to be titled “Best. Day. Ever.” Because it was. I started the morning with the girls skyping a summer intern, which was SO much fun and brought back a lot of good memories…plus it’s always fun to hear the girls quizzing the interns on their names, bringing back inside jokes and even demanding dances out of the poor skypee. I watched a really good but hard-to-watch Hindi movie called Earth (for anyone studying, researching, or teaching either identity or Indian history, this is a must-see!), gained some big respect for Sid as he facilitated the post-movie discussion, got super excited because I get to be his date to a Muslim wedding next week (I found out today that it is a TWO NIGHT affair: Sunday night, which consists of ceremonial traditions and lots of food and then Monday night, which consists of mostly lots of food), and then spent the rest of the afternoon outside with the girls and the SJPD students. It was an absolutely BEAUTIFUL day and so the girls washed pretty much everything that they owned and than sat with it as it was drying all afternoon. I had some good heart-to-hearts with Padma and Raji, two of the girls in the 10^th class, and then stayed in that same place until 6:10. The girls circulated through, and the SJPD students circulated through. we taught them the Macarena, Electric Slide, Cupid Shuffle, and Cha Cha slide. We sang songs, braided hair, looked at pictures, played a form of baseless baseball/cricket with a racket. We painted nails and we beat boxed. And laughed…a lot. Just another day in paradise.

Then it was dinnertime. And…the new group of students was nowhere to be found. The kitchen staff hadn’t been informed for breakfast that there were two groups of students, so they wanted to make sure that they would be cooking for the correct number for dinner. I had asked all students if they would be back for dinner, and they weren’t. I’ve been trying really hard to like these new kids and to think the best of them, but they really aren’t doing much to help me out. The cook kept coming in and checking the food (they made enough for thirty people…which is the correct amount, but looks like a hecka lot of food!) and the group finally came in at around 7:40. Oh man. I tried to be nice and understanding but I think my body language threw me off. I tried to engage them in conversation about their experiences this weekend, and it just wasn’t happening. And…they ate absolutely nothing. And half of what they put on their plates went into the trash bins. And what they did eat, they ate with silverware. Oh man I was so mad. And the cook was mad, too. He even asked one of my kids (who stayed behind to socialize and to help me clean up) why she didn’t eat anything. I’m really struggling with these kids. Not to mention that they don’t really seem to have any interest in india or wringing the most out of their experience, talking to them is like pulling teeth, and their professor is super disconnected and his wife treats the girls like they are poor Indian children who have no mothers and are deaf and to be treated like animals in a zoo.

So I came home and read for a bit and then made my way over to Bandhavi to say goodnight, as usual. The girls have exams this week, so they were allowed one half-hour of television before the box was going to be off for the rest of the week. I chatted with the few who weren’t watching tv, and when I left that room there was Kashima, sitting on the stairs crying. She is always scared to go to school because her teachers hit her and they don’t understand and she doesn’t understand and I just felt so helpless. So helpless.

So if I were to tell you my top five emotions right now (Molls I know you’ve been wondering J) it is such an odd mixture:

1. LOVE for the girls. Wow my heart is swelling so big.

2. GRATITUDE that the students on my program are as respectful and responsible and reactive – and FUN! – as they are

3. ANNOYANCE with the new program and the fact that we are doing everything that we can to cultivate (a) an welcoming community and (b) an incredible learning opportunity and they are just not “getting” it

4. ANGER at the Indian school system

5. EXCITEMENT for the next 3 months and everything that they will hold…and everything that I am going to squeeze out of them. But along with that comes a twinge of SADNESS because I only have 3 months…and this has now become home, and it is going to be so hard to leave.

Back to Normalcy

and….my kids are back.

What an absolutely wonderful feeling.

I never knew that I would miss them so much – and didn’t realize that I did until they got back and I was filled to overflowing. I think that I just about knocked roshen over I hugged him so hard. I was at Bandhavi when the van returned and so I was a little bit behind the kids as I ran up to welcome them back, and as I ran up I heard one of them ask, “Where’s Jen?!?” I was bombarded with hugs and I missed you’s as I handed out their keys, and then I went to the dining center to pass out the remaining keys to those who had headed straight to the food. Their professor told me that they had started talking about how excited they were to see me not only as they approached visthar on the bus but even earlier on the train ride back from mysore. Oooooh it is so wonderful to be loved!!! And then I got to stay up with Roshen debriefing about their trip and getting all the juicy gossip on student growth and development, conversations and happenings. It was so wonderful and fun and I just love love love my job!

Flying Solo

this is a day to remember….the first day that I went into the city all by myself!!! I have been planning on doing this for a long time, but because my cell phone didn’t start to work until super recently, I hadn’t made it in. I waited for the bus for 40 minutes, rode the bus an hour, ran my errands, waited for the bus for another 15 minutes, rode the bus for 40, walked home for 30. I always make fun of Sid for being snobby because he doesn’t ride the bus, but as it took me from 9:07-1:30 to run 2 errands, I too decided that there’s no way I’m ever doing it again unless I have to. However, to look at the brighter side…the guy sitting behind me played Apple Bottom Jeans, that Cyclone song, and Green Day all the way into the city. Which means I had a smile on my face the entire time…and was ALSO smiling because today is the day that my kids come home J

Newcomers :(

today a new group of students came…and man do they make me miss my SJPDers. These kids are nice and all, but they’re kind of dull. Not that lively, not that fun. I’m trying to give them the benefit of the doubt because it’s their first day here and they were on the train since the break of dawn and everything…but judging from their conversation they’re quite the uppity and intelligent kind. Which isn’t always bad…but I’m thankful that they’re only here for 10 days. And counting J

Oh man...

Still working on this one...

but basically, I love my life.

Currently Craving

This week I have suddenly been craving several unique things. Although it isn’t life-altering nor enlightening, I thought I would write them down because it is kind of funny to think about, wonder why these cravings, and to look back at later.

1. Anne of Green Gables. Seriously. Oh how I would love to curl up with the Anne of Green Gables series and just read – for pleasure – one after the other. It doesn’t help that last night when I was helping the girls study for their English exam the poem that they were memorizing had the word “blithe” in it. All I could think about was Gilbert. Why Anne of Green Gables? I really don’t know. But I’m looking forward to being reunited with her come January.

2. Pancakes. Oh man. I get plenty of carbs here thanks to my rice-filled diet, but when it comes to comfort carbs (bread, pastries, muffins, cake, cookies) I’ve got nothing. India hasn’t exactly burst onto the “gluten free baked goods” scene yet. Which is a good thing for me J But the students made pancakes on Sunday and as I watched them load them up with nutella, peanut butter, bananas, and apple compote, I started counting down the days til I can return to OPH. I could really go for some chocolate chip pancakes right now. Or blueberry. Or pumpkin. Oh yum cinnamon raisin. Well, looks like I’ll be going for about a week straight when I get home…

3. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. I think that this speaks for itself…what I wouldn’t give for a nice fresh batch of buckwheat-flour chocolate chip cookie dough (especially if I was wrapped up in a blanket watching episode after episode of the OC)

4. Chipotle. Mexican food is pretty scarce around here. The question I’ve been asking, though, is can I eat it with my hands?

5. DQ Blizzards. This is a tough one for me, because (a) they are horrible for you and (b) the candy is all GMO, which is something that I’m really trying to avoid. But….can I really resist a Reeses blizzard, extra Reeses? I think I’m going to have to go with an 80/20 rule on this “ethical eating” thing…

6. Shopping. I know, I know, it’s bad. Here I am in India living and preaching a simple lifestyle and…I’m craving consumerism? But it’s not really consumerism that I’m craving. It’s the materials, the smell of new fabrics, the thrill when you walk into J.Crew or anthropologie and see the creativity with which they have rearranged and re-displayed, the excitement of seeing new styles, the company and conversation of browsing…walking into ampersand or que sera and getting new decorating ideas for the home that I don’t have yet…mmm I’m getting chills just thinking about it.

7. Autumn. Although this isn’t something tangible, it is definitely something that I’m craving. I love how the nights turn chilly and the air turns crisp, the leaves start to change colors and there’s a feeling of excitement in the air, an anticipation for what this new season holds. Even more weird is that, while in Minnesota the seasons are changing and will evolve into a frigid winter by the time I get home, I will remain in one consistent season until then: about 70° and hazy.

Okey dokey smokey, I think that’s it for now. A little piece into the inner life and cravings of Jen J

Suda Shankriya

At lunch today, Mr. Francis approached me and asked if I have been practicing my breathing. Last week, he did a workshop with the students on Sudashankriya, a form of deep and intentional breathing exercises intended to expand your lung capabilities, decrease stress, etc. Mr. Francis even claims that, since beginning to practice Sudashankriya, his body is able to regulate its blood sugar levels (he was diagnosed as a diabetic about 13 years ago).

Anyway, back to lunch. Remember a few weeks ago when I was on day 2 of being disciplined? Well….today that discipline failed me. I did indeed have all intention of waking up at 5:45am, doing some breathing and then heading to yoga, but unfortunately when my alarm went off I reset it….and then snoozed…got up to skype, and then crawled back into bed…oops.

I blame it on the kids, they tire me out.

However, I told Mr. Francis to ask me again because I really do want to continue this practice. He promised me that I would see a difference and, although I’m not exactly sure what kind of difference I’m looking for, I’m eager to find out J I would be a lot more keen on getting up to breathe, however, if Mr. Francis continued to be our teacher. He is such a treat. The last day of class, he gave us each a chunk of apple to “munch” and instructed us to keep munching while he gave us a mini-lecture on the benefits of Sudashankriya…we were not allowed to swallow. Those who swallowed were force-fed more apples. I wish I could bring him home with me!

Peace and Quiet

I just don’t know what to do with myself. The kids have gone to Kerala without me. Roshen was excited and nervous, as always, and Sid hugged me multiple times before finally getting on the bus without me, his partner in crime. I collected their room keys, gave last-minute packing advice, reminded them to celebrate Roshen’s birthday and…they were off.

And I was left wandering aimlessly around Visthar. Which, mind you, is a lot nicer than running around like a headless chicken, but still feels listless. I have a new book to read, papers to write, Bandhavi girls to hang out with, but today I feel like I’m in a weird limbo. Peace and quiet is so very nice…but eerily empty at the same time. I have to learn how to relax yet again!

Groceries and Ganesha

Still working on this one...

Ramzan...canceled?!?

Today we were supposed to celebrate Ramzan with Sham. However, Ramzan was canceled. Can you imagine Christmas being canceled? Or Easter? The holy man didn’t see the moon, so that means that all preparations were canceled and the food that was beginning to be cooked was put on hold….instead of having a feast, they had to fast another day. Crazy. Oh. And that means that a bunch of staff had to come to Visthar that weren’t planning on coming – they were planning on having a holiday and then surprise, no holiday please come make lunch for the Americans.

It’s too bad, though. The guys were going to go to mosque with Sham and his family and we girls were going to go to his home to observe prayer with the women. It would have been a neat experience to see more of Islam as it is practiced in Islam; I do really admire their devotion and dedication to their faith. When they fast during Ramzan, they don’t even have water. How much more disciplined than I in their faith! I can learn a lot from these servants of Allah.

Ramzan

Today we were supposed to celebrate Ramzan (Ramadan) with Sham. However, Ramzan was canceled.

To be continued...

Have You Ever Considered Being a Teacher?

Debbie, my German roommate, has started helping me with my English classes which is SUCH a blessing because we are able to be more personal with the girls and give them more individualized attention during class. Generally I start with some activity, conversation, or introduction to what we are going to be doing and then we split into two groups to read and work on comprehending what we’re reading. Today after class, Debbie asked me if I have ever considered doing this for real. By “this”, she meant teaching. She told me that she thinks I have a real talent for it, I have many great ideas, and that I do a great job of working with the girls. This made me soooo happy. Teaching is something that people have always told me that I should do, but I kind of always fought it. Last year when I started studying international education, I found myself becoming uber passionate about education in general, the American educational system, and the evident lack of transformative education that is occurring…and I put on my list of things to do “Get licensed to teach” and “Get a doctor’s in education.” The more time I spend here teaching, both with the girls and helping Roshen plan and facilitate the SJPD class sessions, the more I absolutely love it. And, thanks to Debbie, I think I am going to seriously continue pursuing this teaching thing…

Today was a Gift

Still working on this one...

(for those of you who are curious, it will be about St. Mary's Festival and Roshen)

Sweet Sunitha

I am so exhausted. Today I was up at 4:45 to skype with my sister. The sacrifices I make for you, K ;) unfortunately she was stuck in traffic and didn’t make it, so there I was, laying on the floor of the library waiting til 6am, when I would do yoga with the girls. I decided to try calling my Molly, and surprise surprise she was at her mom’s and could skype! So the early morning was worth it. After Molly, I went to yoga, stayed in the Aala to do some Bible reading and then the students came to begin Sudashankriya with Mr. Francis. By the time we were finished, it was only 8:30 but I had been up for almost 4 hours already! The rest of the day passed in a whilwind and I ran around like a headless chicken (as usual), doing things for the students, sitting in on class, taking care of campus logistics. I think we also had a meeting with David about development…it was such a crazy day I don’t remember. Tack on English from 5:30-6:30 and then dinner with the students at 6:30…I had a session with the students after dinner with announcements and planning, so I didn’t get the dining hall closed up until well after Bandhavi’s 8pm dinner. I went over to say hello and goodnight, expecting to be bombarded with demands to read or help with English homework. Instead, I got lots of hugs. When I entered Sunitha’s room, she looked at me and said, “badger, Auntie?” badger means sad in Kannada. I said No, I am just very tired. “Ba,” she said, “Come.” She took me by the hand and led me out the door where we sat against the wall. She pulled out some watercolors and she started to paint. She didn’t ask me questions, she just sat and painted and told me a story. It’s almost as if sweet Sunitha can sense my needs, feel my emotions. she is a Godsend, and although sometimes overwhelming, these girls are the absolute highlight of my life.

Sweet Sunitha

Still working on this one...

Partners in Crime

Wow. I am so thankful for Sid, the other intern. Although his focus is supposed to be mostly the media projects that the students will be working on throughout the semester, he has also jumped about the interational education development train with me. now, instead of working all by myself and reporting every now and then, we brainstorm and make action goals together. I have the IE training, and he went to the school we are working with and also, as someone born and raised in Bangalore, knows India just a little bit better than I do. I finally feel like we are making progress in this area, and am so grateful that I now have a partner in crime.

Bringing in Bollywood

Every Sunday afternoon that the students are in town (which is a whopping 5 Sundays), we are showing a Bollywood film. I have never seen these before, and I really loved the one we watched today! It was called Dil Chatha Hai…and it was 3 hours and 15 minutes long!!!!! I think they have the mindset of if you’re going to make a movie, you’d better make it worth it. It was sometimes cheesy, sometimes sentimental, sometimes serious, and interspersed with awesome Bollywood music videos. Therefore, it was kind of like a Disney Original Musical, Indian-style, 3 hours long. I love musicals. Therefore, I love Bollywood.

An Indian Queen

I wore a saree for the first time today! Rathi lent me a traditional Onam saree, which is cream with maroon trim, and when the girls saw me this morning they went crazy (and each told me that the colors of the saree looked MUCH better on me than on Rathi…shhh don’t tell). We took many pictures and they all talked about how excited my parents would be to see pictures of me in a saree. We celebrated Onam, a Keralan festival that remembers the reign of a righteous king. The king was cheated out of his rule by an evil god, but has consequently been allowed to return once a year to visit his earthly kingdom. In celebration, the community comes together, greets the king, eats a huge meal, and plays games. I have been looking forward to this day for quite awhile mostly because the dish of the day was red rice, which is my absolute FAVORITE Indian dish. (Well, absolute favorite might be a bit extreme…I also love chicken biryani, tamarind rice, dhosa with potato curry, and a myriad of other foods…but red rice is definitely up there). Imagine Thanksgiving, Indian-style. After lunch was served, we hung with the girls all afternoon and it was fun watching the students both humiliate themselves and dominate during the games that were played. To wrap things up, the girls brought out their drums and invited everyone to dance…only a little convincing was necessary to get me to join the circle, and we danced so hard and so long that I got a sideache. Later that night, when I was hanging out with the night guards waiting for the second round of students to get back from their evening out, they told me that I looked like an Indian queen in my saree and that I was dancing like an Indian queen, too. That definitely gave me warm fuzzies J What a great day.

Wonderful Wheat

Today, every meal that they made for the students was made out of wheat. Puree (pronounced ‘pooty’) for breakfast, which is basically a large, puffed wheat cracker and spaghetti and vegetarian macaroni for dinner. Which means…I got to eat at Bandhavi with the girls! Having breakfast with them this morning made me so happy and gave me a lot of joy with which to start my day. Then, when dinner came around and I opened up the dishes to see pasta, I could have lept with excitement. Thank you, gluten intolerance - bring on the rice and sambar!

Sharing Spaces

Well, my roommate has arrived and my space is no longer my own. However, it isn’t half as bad as I anticipated it would be…Debbie from Germany is the sweetest thing, she laughs a lot, and it is fun (a) being able to show someone the ropes and (b) to vent to about things I can’t talk to Roshen or the students about…I even like having someone to say goodnight to when I crash into bed at 10pm!

Slum-Mall Visit

Still working on this one....