Worst. Day. Ever.

Today is quite possibly the absolute worst day I have ever had. Probably not, but I don’t remember the last time that I felt like I am feeling right now. (A) I have lice. Which is kind of awkward and a huge hassle, and I was kind of freaking out, but then I ran into Roshen. I wailed, “Roshen I have liiiice” and he laughed at me. I said, “Roshen! You are laughing at me!” and he giggled and said, “Yes, isn’t it all just a part of growing up?” I washed my sheets, washed my hair with lice shampoo, some of the girls combed through and put this oil concoction in it and assured me that it would kill them and that I would be all right (I tell you the truth, what I would do without these girls is beyond me. Some would say that I am a gift to them, but the truth is that they are an incredible gift to me). I had an incredible morning with the students as we discussed culture shock and I led an evaluation session that really turned into more of a re-entry discussion as they struggled with what they do with everything that they have learned thus far. Man I love these kids. Then (B) happened.

The program is going on a field visit next week to Koppal. It is for their Identity, Resistance and Liberation unit and is the one field visit that I get to go on and have been planning to go on since July. Last week there was a bit of concern that I wouldn’t be able to go because they lost a translator and 3 random girls who are staying here were also invited to come along, but that was resolved. However, (B) today after lunch Roshen told me that there is no train ticket for me. I have been on the list since freaking July, but the train station made a mistake and only gave us 20 tickets, not 21. And it was so difficult to get tickets for these other 3 girls there is no way we could get one for me. so….I don’t get to go. But, reassured Roshen, maybe I can go with Nasser (one of our staff) when he goes in November when the rest of the program is gone. Which is great, but beyond the point.

After talking to Roshen for just a little bit, I had to go wash the oil out of my hair. As I washed, I started to cry. This is the only field visit I get to go on. Not only would it be great for my education to be able to participate in the facilitating of a field visit, but I love these kids. And now, I only have five weeks left with them. They’re gone next week, back two weeks, gone one week, back one week, gone four weeks, back two weeks and then we all fly home. Only five weeks left with them and the other staff, and it makes me very very sad.

To top it off, I started combing out my hair. And when I pulled that comb out of my hair only to find it covered with huge lice, I just lost it. It is a feeling that I cannot describe with words, but it is slightly akin to the feeling you get in your stomach when you back your car into your neighbors mailbox mixed with an “I just want to throw up” kind of feeling. Yeah. Let’s just say that I cried off and on throughout this process.

So when Sid called to check on our weekend plans, it should come as no surprise that I answered with “Can we just talk about how much life sucks right now? I am standing on my front step combing giant bugs out of my hair and because of India’s inefficiency I have to stay home from Koppal and the very last thing that I want to do right now is go to Funworld.” I am normally a pretty pleasant and positive person, so I think he was taken a bit by surprise.

What is Funworld, you ask? Funworld is the 200Rs. Amusement park that I was taking a group of students to tonight. Quite the place to go when you’re in an “I hate life” mood…especially when in addition to “I hate life” you are also thinking, “I never hate life. What is the root of these feelings and how am I supposed to process them properly; which emotions are appropriate to act upon?” Yes, it was quite complex. Needless to say, I wasn’t a lot of fun at the beginning. And started crying when chatting with more than one of the students. However, by the end of the evening I was feeling a lot more grown-up and professional about everything. Funny how a night at a sketchy Indian amusement park did that to me….

And that night, I only combed one louse out of my hair. And all the nits that came out were dead. So I guess things are looking upwards.