Thursday, October 20, 2011

I am the White Girl Who Opened the Pressure Cooker


I am the white girl who opened the pressure cooker

Everyone told me not to do it.
Just two days ago, I had a conversation
And vehemently affirmed that I would never
- Ever -
 Open the pressure cooker while it was cooking.
Why would I want an explosion, steam, burns?
That would just be stupid.

That was two days ago…
But today is always a different story.

I was cooking black-eyed-peas
In an effort to re-create a yummy masala that I made last week.
Boil the beans, empty the water.  Boil the beans, empty the water.
Simmer for 45 minutes.
I put the cover on the pressure cooker during the simmer step…
And realized about halfway into it that it hadn’t steamed at all.
For some reason,
I took this as a sign that I shouldn’t have put the cover on,
That it wasn’t working,
And I should take it off and simmer coverless.
What I didn’t realize
Was
That if it hadn’t steamed at all in 20 minutes,
There was a heck of a lot of pressure in the cooker.

I wrestled with the cover.
This should have been my first sign
That the cover shouldn’t be removed.
But I failed to heed the warning
And continued to wrestle it off.
I had the sense enough to know
That it was indeed going to explode at least a little bit,
(Why did I continue?)
And I was prepared to jump back when it did.

Well, let me tell you…
It definitely exploded.

The cover came off.
Steam poured.
Beans flew.
Water boiled.
I jumped…but not fast enough.

My kitchen is a mess -
but it made for a good Twitpic.
I have quite the burn on my hand -
but I’ve been told that all Indian ladies
have burnmarks on their hands from the cookers…
Looks like I’m now officially an Indian lady.

I’ve already been mocked
(by my boss)
Scolded
(by my friend)
And “tut-tutted” over
(by my neighbors).
The burn mark tells it all,
And because my cooking skills were already in question
(I have this problem with burning rice…)
I’ll probably never live it down.

Yes, I am the white girl who opened the pressure cooker.

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