Making Poverty Personal

Although I have been living among the poor for 5 months now,

have been meeting people

and spending time in village communities,

tonight the reality of the meaning of poverty became personal.

Yesterday, while we were watching a Kannada film (It's called Milano - I recommend it), Padma (our oldest girl) started to cry. She is generally strong - very strong - and when others cry she tells them to stop. Previous times when she has cried she has been ashamed. Yesterday though, she didn't stop. For about a half and hour she just cried. None of the girls knew why, and she didn't want to talk, so I just sat holding her hand and wiping her tears.

Tonight, she came to me and said, "Aunty. Yesterday I had a phone call with very bad news." Her brother had called, and he is not well. "Is he sick?" I asked. "No Aunty. In my village, there is no food." Now, already I knew that Padma's mother died about 2 years ago, 3 years this April. Her father passed away a month after her mother. I knew that she had a small sister (who is here at Bandhavi) and also two brothers who were aged similar to mine. And a cute 2-3 year old sister as well. For some reason, I hadn't realized that there were 8 children all together. Her oldest sister is married, and she has left the village with her husband, taking the smallest girl with her. Another brother lives near Bangalore, and this, her 13 year old brother, is living in the village with an aunt. "Aunty, there is no food. And my aunt is beating him," she said. My heart broke. "Is this the village you will return to when you are finished here?" I asked her. "Yes Auntie. But I am not going back. It is very bad in my village. I will stay here." "Here?" I asked. "You will be finished with Visthar when you graduate, Padma. Then what will you do?" "I don't know Aunty. I won't be here. I won't be there. It is very bad. I will be...somewhere." "Do you have a dream, Padma?" "No dream, Aunty. Dreams are bad."

This is common in India. Food shortages, domestic abuse, girls without dreams...girls who know they can't have dreams because they won't come true. All this I knew, and I have seen, but in talking to Padma it became real. It broke my heart. And I don't know what to do about it.