Hospital Phobia

One of our girls has become very sick, and we went down to the hospital to pay her a visit. As I walked through the hallway on the way to her room, I suddenly became aware that my legs had unexpectedly become very heavy and were moving more and more slowly, as if they were dreading entering that hospital room. I had to consciously tell my legs to move forward. It was funny to me, because none of my family or friends has ever been hospitalized for something serious nor do I have conscious memories of negative experiences at a hospital. Somewhere along the road I must have internalized an apprehension towards hospitals, and I wonder what it was. Or perhaps my body was simply responding to the fact that I hate seeing people in pain, but I was mentally blocking that uneasiness because I wanted to show Saandhiya that I cared. I left the hospital (1) in awe of how my body knows and responds to things that I am not even aware of (2) so thankful that I do not work in a hospital because (3) it is so emotionally breaking to see not only people you love but also those around them sick and hurting.