Looking for Daddy

A little girl and her father boarded the bus.  The father was tall with an angular jaw and dressed in a plaid Ralph Lauren button up.  The little girl was wide-eyed, pigtailed, and dressed in a fuscia lehenga with a bright orange choli.  Cute to the max.

In India, or, at least, on most busses in Bangalore, the women sit in the front and the men sit in the back.  This father made his way to the middle of the bus, where he stood, and tried to have his daughter tuck herself into the seat in front of me.  This was further away from him than she seemed to like, and she desperately looked for an option closer to him.  I scooted towards the open window, offering the space in between me and the 12-year-old girl beside me.  “Ba,” I said, patting the space beside me.  She looked up at her father, he nodded, and she scrambled between us, sitting on the edge of the seat, gripping the bar on the seat ahead of her, and craning her head to look at me.  I smiled, said hello, but she was silent, staring.

My seat was the last in the “women’s” section, so her father stood next to our seat.  When the bus hit a bump in the road, he leaned down, placed her back firmly on the seat, and instructed his daughter to continue holding on to the bar in front of her.  While she enjoyed looking back at me and peering out the window, every once in awhile she would turn the other way and make sure her daddy was still there.  He was.

The bus started filling up.

More women, some speaking angrily, boarded the bus.  The little girl’s father got pushed further from us, towards the back of the bus.  The girl turned, worried.  Her father smiled, nodded at her.  He was still there.  People continued to board; the bus was overflowing with people.  She turned towards me, anxious, and I said, “Ah, Appa idde.”  She turned to the other side, eyes searching frantically, and, sure enough, although there were rows of people between them, Daddy was still there, and his eyes hadn’t left his little girl.  

As we drove, she glanced back about once every two minutes, and I found myself looking with her.  His body was mostly hidden  by sareed women and he was no longer close enough to readjust her after a bump in the road, but Daddy was still watching.  Smiling.  Reassuring.  She couldn’t feel him, and she could barely see him, but he was there.  In the midst of the chaos, of the panic of people, even if she felt alone and helpless, all she needed to do was look.  And she would see that he had never stopped watching her.  That he was proud of her for sitting on her own.  That he  wasn’t going to leave without her, and that he would make sure she made it to her destinations afely.  This one look was enough to reassure her; to give her the peace to make it through the next two minutes.  Until the bus got a little more crowded, a little more loud.  Until it hit a bump in the road and she became unsure.  Until it was time to look back and double check that Daddy was still there.  

And he always was.

#thingsiloveaboutindia

I am so in love with India.
Why do I feel so at home?  What is it that connects me here?
Honestly, I can't articulate it.  But every day since I arrived I have just been bursting.

I looked at some apartments on Saturday.  I may have found one - a picture of the entryway below.  If I don't find anything I like more, at a better location or price, this is a keeper!  My favorite aspects: the walls of each room are different neon-pastel colored stucco.  On the list of #thingsiloveaboutIndia?  Life is colorful.

Saturday night, I got to walk down MG Road for the first time on my own after dark.  (Don't worry mom, I'm safe).  There is such a rush, such an energy, such a feeling that emerges when the sun goes down.  On the list of #thingsIloveaboutIndia?  Walking through the city - central or village - after dark.

It was Roshen's birthday Saturday, so I met up with a friend (Justine from Zimbabwe/France/England) and we stopped by The Rice Bowl to crash a bit of his party.  It was so fun to show Justine a little bit of the city, my city.  To have friends to meet up with.  On the list of #thingsIloveaboutIndia?  Having a history... and Roshen's giggle.

Post birthday dinner, we headed to meet a friend of Justine's.  As we left The Rice Bowl, she said something like, "Ok so I actually only met this guy once...." Instantly I knew we were going to be taken.  We were taking an auto to an obscure place of town that I had never been, and going to the house of a guy from some French island that she had only met once.  She cajoled me, reassuring that he was the friend of a friend, and I agreed to continue....although as out auto neared Whitefield, and this guy came out to meet us at the corner smelling like smoke, I had my doubts.  Don't worry, though, we made it, and met a lot of neat people.  It was an expat party, which is new to me: I haven't ever really hung out with or had the desire to spend excessive time with foreigners in India - I live in India, why would I want to find an American bubble?  But I decided to be open.  This party that we went to was in celebration of Chile's Independence Day, and there were people from all over the world.  A small group, but I was the only American (one Indian had lived in Minneapolis, though, which was fun). There was an Italian, Chileans, Spaniards, Japanese, Brazilian, Justine, and more.  I spoke Spanish, learned what brought people to India, discussed the caste system, and had a mojito.  On the list of #thingsIloveaboutIndia?  Hearing people's stories...and their reactions to India


This morning, I went to church.  It is held in one of the ritzier hotels downtown, but I tried to keep an open mind.  I was told it was mostly an expat church, and I worked through some of the issues listed above.  But I am glad that I went - totally an international crowd, including Indians, and I met some cool people, including some my age.  Afterwards, I was invited to lunch at the Oberoi, and although I would have loved to chat more, I had plans to go to Visthar...I was glad, though, because I still think it would be difficult for me to justify lunch at the Oberoi.  On the list of #thingsIloveaboutIndia?  The adventure of finding where I belong.


I took an auto to Visthar.  Well, to Kothanur.  Then I walked.  And I'm so glad that I did - my dog Max is still sitting at the same curve in the road as he was when I left in December!

I had a great day hanging out with the girls, reliving memories, being outside, and catching up with some of my friends on staff. As I walked back into town, I passed an old security guard on his bike.  He smiled and waved, and asked a question.  Biju drove by on his motorcycle, honked and waved and shouted hello.  I ran into Francoise on her bycicle, and we stopped to chat.  On the list of #thingsIloveaboutIndia?  Knowing I have a second home and family.  Oh...and girls wearing my sunglasses:

There was one auto at the corner.  And I couldn't convince him to take me home...which was okay, actually, because it was what I needed to convince me to take the bus.  I took the bus regularly before, but haven't taken it this time around and had absolutely no idea which busses to take.  However, I knew the roads now, so I was ready for the bus. I was also ready not to spend more money on transport.  I got on the first, to Ring Road.  However, it dropped me before the ring road, not afterwards.  So I played frog hopper and made my way across to wait for another bus, riding that to Hebbal circle.  Hebbal circle is really a circle, and once I got off the bus I had not a clue where I was or which direction I needed to go.  So I followed in the footsteps of of another girl who didn't seem to know where she was going, and asked a bus that might have been going where I needed to go.  They took me on, took a u-turn, dropped me off, and instructed me to walk across a narrow bridge, over the railroad tracks and wait at the bus stop on the other side.  It was dark now, and the other side was India alive.  SO many people, fruit stands, other vendors.  I bought my first pomegranate (couldn't resist) and asked him where to catch the bus.  He directed me AND told me which number to take, for which I was very thankful.  I am so glad I took the bus, and doubly glad that I didn't know where I was going....but that, now, I do know.  On the list of #thingsiloveaboutindia? Public Transportation (most people from my "new India life" would laugh...but it's true, I do!)