Talking Marriage with Devadassis

Well, today is day #1 on the Koppal field visit. We arrived at around 7:45 this morning and jumped right into business. Visthar has a second campus here, so the group split into 2 with half of us going to visit a government school and the Bandhavi building and the other half heading to new visthar to plant some trees and help with construction. I was assigned the tree-planting…but because of my love for Bandhavi ad my interest in education, I pulled a sly swap. Later in the day we all met up at new Visthar and met with Maji Devadassi women and their children (aka Bandhavi girls).

While I absolutely loved my time at the school and spent with the children, the highlight and most meaningful part of my field visit was our chat with the Maji Devadassi women. Their fire and their fervor was undeniable and I was amazed at the ease with which they shared their deepest troubles and personal stories. [Note: Devadassi women are what is most easily translated into English as temple prostitutes. Maji means “Ex”, so these women are no longer practicing. The practce has been illegal in Karnataka for 30 years, but still exists. I’d love to talk to you more about it later!] But the moment that captured my heart was at the end, when we asked them if they had any questions for us.

Their question was, “What is a wedding like in your country?” This question after we had spoken with them about their personal lives, their relationships with males, the fact that they have been “married” to the gods. Those of you who know me know that I am slightly obsessed with weddings, and at first it was fun and girly to talk with them about it and see the joy in their eyes. But soon the reality hit me, and it broke my heart. Because of this system, because of their caste, because of their poverty, these women have been robbed of not only having a wedding, but of the beauty that is marriage. And when they applauded at the end of our description, I knew it wasn’t because of the church and the white dress. it was because of the love, the commitment, the relationship that we described that they will never have.

Day 1 in Koppal was a beautiful day filled with beautiful people, and although it is something that I have been thinking for awhile as I sat on the bus watching the countryside go by I verbalized it for the first time: I never want to leave India.